Dear Olivia Marie,
I’m having a bit of trouble. I am physically unable to remove
the changing pad that has been on your dresser for nearly three years. It’s not
heavy or stuck to the top.....it’s just that I can’t take it down. My arms just
won’t do it and my heart can’t handle the weight.
Your dresser drawer that used to hold the diapers, wipes,
and butt paste (yes, that’s the actual
name of the product.....it’s a must have by the way) is now filled with Frozen
and Peppa Pig undies. But I can’t take your changing pad off of the top of your
dresser. We haven’t used it for months, and it’s really in the
way. It’s time to replace it with a container to store your hair clips and
maybe a little lamp.
All of your other baby items were replaced without much
sadness and sometimes even with excitement....the highchair was replaced with a
booster seat, your infant car seat is now a convertible front-facing ride, your
swing is at your baby cousin's house, and where your pack in play was now stands a tot-sized table and
chairs for coloring and Playdoh. None of those changes in "equipment" caused me pause...you outgrew
them and they were removed, simple enough.
But this is the last baby thing in the house.
I remember walking into your nursery when we were waiting
for you to arrive. I would take out the newborn clothes and imagine placing you
on the changing pad and getting you dressed in the tiny outfits we chose. I
remember taking out the first newborn diaper we got from a freebie bag at the
doctor's office & just laughing because it was so small. And then you were there,
actually there, lying on the changing pad and those times we had imagined were
happening. That changing pad was a good indicator of every growth spurt as your
little legs eventually extended past the edge and onto the dresser. And then one day, instead of carrying you and lying
you down on it while I dried you off after your bath, you asked to walk to your
room. You held the edge of your towel and walked down the hallway while I
followed. You sat on the bed and put your pajamas on by yourself while I
just watched, trying not to provide too much help. Suddenly, the days of
dressing you and changing you on that sacred spot were gone. It now just takes
up space in your room. It’s time to let you have it as a toy for changing your
baby dolls’ diapers. You are still in many ways a baby.....but not in this way
any longer.
I guess I’ll go move it now......and then we can go pick out
that lamp.
Love,
Mommy
