Dear Olivia Marie,
Last weekend, you and I went to the Botanical Gardens
because you wanted to play with the kitchen set in the World of Wonder area and
I wanted to leave the house. It wasn’t warm, but it was warm enough to justify
being outside with a toddler on a Sunday morning. I fully expected to have the
whole place to ourselves- but surprisingly there were quite a few other moms
and toddlers there.
Other mothers wearing the same legging/tunic/cardigan outfit
combo that I wore; several other toddlers walking around wondering why the
splash pad was dry and discovering other ways to enjoy the area.
There we all were, giving each other a polite good morning
grin & nod and then pretending we didn’t see each other for the rest of the
time. After this same baseline exchange of pleasantries was observed for an
hour or so, the thought struck me: Why are we pretending to ignore each other?
Are we afraid of judgment because we have our children
outside on a chilly day?
Are we embarrassed that we are choosing to enjoy nature
instead of packing ourselves and children into the newest trendy church that
meets in a school?
Did we all assume the garden would be vacant, so we didn’t
get all dolled up in preparation to socialize?
Can’t you see that we already have several things in common
just by being in this exact place in this exact moment?
We are all living off of LuLaRoe and dry shampoo! That’s
enough of a conversation starter to pass the time while our children play
together. But wait....our children aren’t playing together. Perhaps they can
sense the way we are keeping our distance from one another. We are preventing ourselves from becoming
friends AND blocking our children from important social interactions.
Don’t you know that
we need each other!? Don’t you know that it takes a village!? Don’t you know
that your worries for your child are the same as mine!? Don’t you realize that
we have the opportunity to discuss mutual concerns and share unique excitements
if only all we would more fully acknowledge one another!?
I tried to engage with one mother and child while we sat
directly across from each other in swings, but it didn’t take.
You and I had a nice time together, eventually caught the
tram, and went home. But the questions
from that morning are still in my mind and I'm sure there is a lesson in there somewhere for us both.
I’m hoping that I can teach you to be
inclusive and reach out to others when the chances are given to you...but that’s
so far out of my comfort zone that I probably won’t practice what I preach. Maybe I can teach you something else instead.
Love,
Mommy
