Friday, December 26, 2014

The last page in the baby book

I have been a fairly consistent an occasional updater of the baby book. The main points have been filled in, mostly because I haven't had to do the page on teething or hair cuts, so the load was lighter. After carefully taping the pictures from her cake smash party in the appropriate section, I turned the page and came to the final part of the book with the heading A Letter to Your Child, followed by several lines in which to write anything that comes to mind. Talk about pressure! Is 3/4 of an 8x10 piece of paper enough to tell her everything I have to say?  I could write about my hopes and dreams for her future. I could write about the attributes I dream she possesses. I could write about the first year of her life. It was just too much, so I closed the book and walked away. It has popped into my mind several times over the last few days. Honestly, I could never write down everything I hope for her. But after thinking about it for a while, I decided that I could sum up very briefly what I want for her: 
Be happy. Be kind. Be appreciative. Don't be a ho. 
But since this is going into the baby book, it should be fluffier than that. So, this is what I wrote:

Dear Olivia Marie,
You are my favorite person, other than your dad. Being your mother is my greatest adventure, one with twists and turns popping up just when I set the cruise. You are loved- unconditionally by me, purely by your father, intensely by your grandparents.  I can't wait to watch your personality develop, to hear your thoughts and observations on the world around you, to hear the sound of your voice when you sing your favorite songs in the car. You are still in many ways a stranger, but I have never known anyone quite as well as I know you.  
My job is to nurture you, provide for you, and prepare you to be a contributing member of society. In order to do this, you will be given discipline instead of bail outs. There will be times you don't like me much. Sorry, not sorry. 
Remember that your brain is not fully developed until you are 25, so try to refrain from permanent decisions (husband, tattoos, babies, etc) until after that time. Your decisions will affect me, because your health and happiness affect me. When major forks pop up in the road, use your gut to make the call on the direction you take. Your instinct is a gift and it's usually right. 
I pray you give love to and accept love from yourself, friends, family, animals and, one day when you are old enough, your soul mate (who I do believe exists). 
Mistakes will happen. Many of them have the potential for life-altering consequences that don't appear positive, but it's not the end of the world. You can always recover if you choose to. You will probably hear that "everything happens for a reason". I'm not sure that I believe this, but I do believe that sucky stuff happens & you can choose to respond to it in a positive way (after allowing yourself to be angry about it for a little while). 
While I am writing this, you are a toddler asleep in your crib. I know that the time I have to raise you will go quickly even though many of the days will seem long. Even in the hardest of times, I will always be happy in the deepest part of my soul that you are part of my life. 
I love you,
Mommy

And yes, it was too long!


11 comments:

  1. Beautiful, funny and honest. Keep writing!!

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  2. Brandy, that is beautiful!!! *TEAR* You are such a good mommy! Olivia is a very lucky little girl! You are so open and honest! I have been a mommy for almost 16 years but I am learning from you! Thank you for sharing! I am looking forward to following your blog!

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    1. Melissa! I can't even say how much that means to me! Thank you!!

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  3. So glad you're doing this! What a beautifully written first blog. Can't wait for the next installment!

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  4. Brandy this was beautifully written. You put into words feelings I have in a daily basis. I hope you find the one to keep writing( but totally understand if you don't!) Olivia is a very lucky little girl!!!

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    1. Thanks so much Becky! I am glad to know we are in the same boat in a lot of ways (even though your boat is more crowded!)

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    2. Also reading my reply and catching my typos now! I am way impressed you are able to do this- and do it so well!!!

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  5. That's sweet, Brandy! I'm sure Livey will appreciate it when she's older. As usual, you have a gift for an appropriate mix of humor and thought-provoking intellect to make an interesting message. Continue to be open, honest, and transparent with Livey in both your successes and your shortcomings because that will endear her to you even more. As parents, we never reach the point of 'having it all figured out'. It's a constant journey, even when your children are into adulthood. Olivia is blessed to have loving parents to cherish her, and guide her into the incredibly wise and beautiful woman I know she will be.

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    1. That's one thing I have learned from watching parents of adults.....it never ends! Thanks for the kind words!

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