Successful mothering

Dear Olivia Marie,

I am tired.

More than tired. I’m burned out.  

As I attempt to define for myself what “happiness” is and what constitutes “opportunity”, I am resigned to my current state of being and trying to figure out how to do this whole working-mother thing in some way that resembles success.

This morning was not successful. 

Although time blurs the edges, I think it's important to remember how each season of life really feels. (I hate the phrase "season of life".) This one feels exhausting.

When reading this, you will not remember what it was like back in 2017 when you were three years old and I dealt with the struggle of trying to get us both dressed and out of the house by 6:40 a.m. Monday-Friday.  

This morning, at 6:35 a.m., your butt was naked and sticking up in the air from your bed while you flat out refused to get dressed & brush your teeth and hair. This may embarrass you, depending on what age you are when you read this story. However, at this time, your butt is still tiny and cute. It is not very cute though when it is supposed to be covered in a full outfit and we are late.

I tried everything I could think of to motivate you with positive reinforcement. It didn’t work.

The following thoughts went through my head:

1) “Your butt is so tiny and cute.”

2) “I’m so glad I don’t have to breastfeed you anymore.”

3) “I’m so glad you are going to your Grana’s house tonight.”

4)”Get the eff dressed or I’m going to lose it.”

5) “Take a deep breath. Being a few minutes late isn’t going to hurt anyone.”

6) “I’m going to try yelling and see if that works.”

It didn’t work.  You just tilted your head to the side a bit, looked at me, and stayed naked.

We weren't late and you were eventually, forcefully, clothed, but I don’t like starting the day like that. 

Let’s just enjoy the weekend and try again on Monday.

Love,

Mommy